The Heart of Everything
by xshieldmaidenx
Summary: AkuRoku oneshot. In which Axel and Roxas contemplate the necessity of hearts in the act of loving. Warnings: slash, yaoi, shonen-ai, boylove, etc.


DISCLAIMER: *points to self* Starving college student. If I owned KH, I'd be rich, and certainly not starving. I would also live in Cinderella's castle for free instead of in the horrid dorm room I pay $27,000 a year to sleep in.

The Heart of Everything

"Roxas? What's wrong?" Axel's voice caused the blonde to turn around.

"Axel?"

"Who else would it be?" he retorted, eyes widening comically as Roxas launched himself at the redhead, tackling him to the ground.

"You jerk!" Roxas shouted angrily, pushing his hands against Axel's shoulders so his back was slammed into the unrelenting cement below them.

"Whoa! What did I do?" Axel asked as he lifted his hands defensively.

"I thought you were gone for good! They said that none of the members stationed at Castle Oblivion survived!" At this outburst, he fell still, head hanging in defeat.

"…Rox. Look at me." Axel's leather-clad hands reached up to cup Roxas' face, slowly lifting it until their eyes were locked.

"What?" the blonde asked bitterly.

"Sorry for making you worry."

"I wasn't worried!" he protested angrily.

"Yeah you were. Admit it… You missed me."

"No I didn't!"

"Oh, really? Then why'd you tackle me?"

This caused Roxas to turn a deep shade of red. "'Cause you ticked me off!"

"Whatever you say, Rox. I know you missed me, and that's what counts."

"…shut up."

"Heh. Sure." Axel smirked, his fingers tracing Roxas' face gently. "I missed you too, you know."

Not waiting for a response, he pulled the blonde down into a bruising kiss. Roxas was unresponsive at first, frozen in shock for the briefest of moments before moving his lips against Axel's.

Taking this as permission to continue, Axel nipped at his lower lip, the only warning Roxas got before—

*BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP*

"Wha—?" Roxas groaned, eyes slowly opening.

7:58 his digital clock flashed at him as the alarm continued beeping angrily.

He reached over to turn it off before stretching as he got out of bed. The blonde quickly changed into the black garb of the Organization members before heading to the 'Kitchen That Never Was'.

_/That dream again… If they aren't about that Sora kid, they're always about __**him**_._/ _Roxas mused as he wandered down the empty hallway. _/He's my __**friend**__! I don't think of him like __**that.**__/_

Blushing slightly as he remembered his dream, he scowled. _/And I __**definitely**__ didn't enjoy it!/_

_/You definitely did./ _some traitorous part of his subconscious argued.

"Shut up!" he growled to himself as he entered the room.

"Geeze. Good morning to you, too, Sunshine." Axel held up his hands defensively.

"No, not you." Roxas shook his head. "Sorry, I was talking to myself."

"Did you know that's the first sign of insanity?"

"Okay, this time I am talking to you. Shut up."

"Aw, love you too, Roxy."

"Seriously. Shut up and hand me that cereal, will ya?"

"Sure." Axel quickly complied, waiting for Roxas to pour himself a bowl of cereal before speaking again. "What's wrong? Did somebody not get their beauty sleep?"

"I slept just fine." Roxas retorted through a mouthful of Froot Loops.

"Then what's wrong?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Alright, suit yourself. See you tonight." Axel shrugged, getting up from the table. Roxas merely nodded in response, too lost in his own thoughts to verbalize a reply.

Roxas' mission was over rather quickly so he portalled to Twilight Town's clock tower to wait for his friend.

_/Is it even possible for Nobodies to "like" someone like that?/ _he wondered silently. _/I mean, we're always together… it's like we're pretending to have hearts… So is my mind just __pretending__ to like him?/_

Roxas pondered that for a moment. _/He's smart, funny, loyal… A little snarky at times, but still… On top of all that, he's attractive. Almost painfully so…/ _he shook his head angrily. _/No! I'm __not__ going to start thinking about his slim, almost girlish figure, or his hands, or those gorgeous eyes that I would gladly drown in— __Not__ thinking about it!/_

/_Except you __are__ thinking about it… Not to mention how delicious his lips tasted in that dream—/_

"Not thinking about it!" Roxas shouted angrily.

"And what are you not thinking about?" Axel asked as he sat next to the blonde, clearly amused.

"None of your business." he reached for one of the two ice cream bars in Axel's hand.

"Ah, ah, ah…" the redhead shook his head and pulled away. "No ice cream for Roxy until he tells me what's wrong."

"Axel…" he whined. "No fair!"

"Just tell me what's wrong. You're clearly not going to be able to function until you get it outta your head… So talk to me. That's what friends are for, right?"

"…why are we friends?"

"...huh?" Axel blinked.

"Why are we friends?" Roxas repeated, leaning toward Axel slightly. "I mean, we're Nobodies so we don't have emotions, right? So how are we friends? Why does it seem like I feel a pull, almost like a magnet drawing me to you?"

"Is this what's been bothering you?" Axel asked after a lengthy pause. Roxas nodded, looking away in order to avoid the other's gaze. The redhead laughed slightly before pulling the blonde into a tight hug. "It's like that because we're reacting to each other… Whenever we're together, it's like we have hearts."

"So is that all this is? Just a huge game of pretend?" Roxas demanded as he pulled away in frustration.

"Heck if I know. But it's nice, right?"

"No! I'm sick of this!" he shook his head. "I'm tired of feeling this way, or pretending to feel this way, or whatever! I hate it!"

"Do you think you're the only one who hates it?" Axel retorted, anger matching Roxas' own.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why do you think the Organization exists? We're all sick of this illusion of hearts… You collect hearts so we can all become real. We all want hearts, we just all have different reasons."

"Reasons?"

"Take Xemnas. He wants the power that comes from having a heart. Xaldin and Xigbar can both remember what it's like to be human. I think they miss that a lot. And Demyx? He wants to be able to be passionate about his music."

"Well… what's your reason?"

"None of your business."

"Tell me."

"…" Axel looked away, hesitating for the briefest of moments before murmuring a reply.

"…you."

"…me? I'm your reason for wanting a heart?"

"Like I said before: you're not the only one hating your illusion of feelings. There's something between us, but we'll never know what it is unless we get hearts." The redhead sighed, propping his cheek up by his hand. He turned his head slightly so his mouth was against his palm, indicating that he was finished with the discussion.

Roxas fell silent at his friend's admission, using the silence as time for silent contemplation.

_/Should I do this? Can I really take this chance…?/_

Looking at Axel's solemn form, he made his choice.

"So… let's pretend." The blonde finally spoke.

"Huh?" Axel blinked as he moved backwards until he was propped up against the wall. Roxas followed slowly, watching Axel's reactions as he moved.

Rather than sit next to his friend, Roxas chose to straddle the other's lap, supporting his weight on his knees with no contact between the two. He linked his arms around Axel's neck as he replied.

"Let's pretend… to love."

Watching Axel's widen, Roxas slowly leaned forward to press his lips gently against Axel's. With a sharp intake of breath, Axel immediately responded, moving his lips eagerly against the blonde's. His hands snaked up to grip Roxas's hips before tugging him down to rest on his lap, not breaking the kiss. Their lips were moving together as Axel pulled Roxas closer, shifting his hands so one was caressing the small of Roxas' back while the other hand moved to bury in blonde spikes.

Taking initiative, Roxas mimicked Axel's action from his dream, nipping at the redhead's bottom lip to request entrance. Axel's mouth opened instantly, his tongue moving to tangle with Roxas'. The blonde let out an involuntary moan, unconsciously shifting forward before pulling away and resting his forehead against Axel's.

"Geeze. Who needs Kingdom Hearts when we've got that?" Axel joked, breathing heavily.

"If that was just us pretending, I can't imagine what it'll be like when we actually have hearts." Roxas panted with a small smile.

"Rox… I know it's just pretend, but…" Axel's hands moved up to cup Roxas' face. "The illusion of loving you is almost overwhelming."

Roxas' eyes widened slightly before he moved in to place a light kiss on Axel's lips. As he pulled away, they wore identical smiles.

"Screw the illusion and pretend crap, Axel. I don't need a heart to know that I love you."


End file.
